Top Ten Hottest Tentacles on TV

We all love tentacles, but which tentacles are the hottest? Count down the top ten with us in this tentacle listacle!

I think we can all agree that tentacles are hot. In fact, tentacles are without a doubt the hottest part of the tako.

But what makes tentacles so hot? Is it their stretchiness? Their wiggliness? The orifice they come out of?

Let’s get to the bottom of it, together! These are TakoNet’s Top 10 Hottest Tentacles in TV!

10. Doctor Octopus (Marvel Universe)

From his comic book debut to animation to Spider-Man 2, Doc Ock is one of the most well-loved villains of the Marvel universe. But we love him for those sexy tentacles. They can do anything his hands can do and more! In fact, he regularly uses them to carry himself around. Talk about handy!

So what landed him so low on our list? Well, we love the spirit, but there’s one key problem. See… these tentacles typically exchange a softer fleshy texture for a sharp metal. That’s great for tearing Spider-Man apart… less great for tentacle appeal.

9. Squid Girl (Squid Girl)

Look at those luscious locks! So neatly kept! So blue! So versatile! The adorable Squid Girl has full control of the tentacles coming off her head. If you don’t stay on her good side, she’ll use them to torture you with tickles!

I think the appeal of Squid Girl’s tentacles speak for themselves. It’s very convenient to treat them as hair because they stay out of the way until you want to use them for something. However, like Doc Ock, they’re just missing that aspect that really makes them tentacle-y. You know? Very cute. Much more appealing than Doc Ock’s. Just not what we’re really looking for.

8. Octoling (Splatoon)

Kid or squid? We’re all about tako here at TakoNet! Naturally, we love the Octolings’ tentacles for their perfection of Squid Girl’s tentacle hair. As you can see, each Octoling has their suckers on full display. These tentacles are soft and stylish!

Wait… What do you mean these aren’t on TV? Do you not play Splatoon on your TV? Well, joke’s on you! We’re counting it!

Unfortunately, these octo-kids are losing some points for versatility. Their tentacles are hot, but even in their octopus form that lets them swim through ink, the tentacles just don’t seem very useful as appendages. Can’t even tickle your enemies? Better than Squid Girl, but your turf is number 8.

7. Ursula (The Little Mermaid)

Moving away from the hair-style tentacles and back under the sea, Ursula’s really got it going on. Her entire lower body is composed of long dark-colored tentacles she seems to have full control of. These are good for mobility, grabbing things, and similar uses.

Overall, Ursula moves us far closer to our hottest tentacles, but I think she’s got a bit too much going on at once. The dark color and girth has me feeling claustrophobic when I watch her move around. This form may be ideal for undersea living, but as a human… I live on land. Surely there are tentacles that are better suited to being part of our world.

6. Gooper Blooper (Super Mario Sunshine)

Oh yes. Oh so hot. Look at those fine suckers.

We’ve got length. We’ve got texture. We’ve got plenty of versatility even if he doesn’t show it. Sadly, Mario takes Gooper Blooper down far too quickly in Super Mario Sunshine for us to get a full grasp of just how great his tentacles are. However, we do get some hands-on time with those tentacles in the game.

To take down Gooper Blooper, Mario must grab ahold of each tentacle and pull until it comes off. In the process, we see just how squishy and stretchy these tentacles are. And the power with which Gooper Blooper smacks Mario around is just perfect. Unfortunately, Gooper Blooper is a bit out of control which means he wouldn’t be great to keep around.  Plus, his tentacles are kinda fragile. Still, it’s all downhill from here!

5. Oswald (Oswald)

As tentacles go, it doesn’t get much hotter than Oswald. I mean, when you think “tentacles,” I know Oswald is the first thing that comes to mind.

Oswald isn’t the type who needs most of his tentacles to walk around. He’s very strong so he can free up most of his tentacles to perform day-to-day tasks. He’s always using those things to help his friends, and honestly what’s hotter than friendship? Can it get much better than this?

4. Squidward Tentacles (Spongebob Squarepants)

It’s right there in the name, folks. Squidward does tentacles amazingly! I mean, we’ve seen him make… something he calls art… with them. We’ve seen him make tea and operate a cash register. We’ve seen Squidward go jellyfishing and expertly ride his bike to the bottom of a cliff where he set off an explosion. Squidward’s tentacles are even hot enough to attract a Sea Bear!

But… wait… what’s that…?

3. Squilliam Fancyson (Spongebob Squarepants)

Need I say more? This man’s tentacles are the definition of hot. His tentacles are better than Squidward’s in every way!

Squilliam’s tentacles speak for themselves.

2. Koro-sensei (Assassination Classroom)

Koro-sensei from Assassination Classroom has tentacles that just scream perfection. What’s hotter than a tentacle? A TWO-FOR-ONE DEAL! Each of Koro-sensei’s tentacles split into extra “fingers” that are really just more tentacles. Look at them. Absolutely beautiful. True to his role as one who trains assassins, Koro-sensei is incredibly fast and incredibly strong. His tentacles are surely part of that.

Koro-sensei has incredible control over his tentacles, and he even holds them in such a way that they aren’t a bother to those around him. He’s able to maintain almost a humanoid form, even. And let’s be honest, what would you rather see when appreciating some tentacles than that huge unwavering smile? I see that smile in my dreams, folks. Koro-sensei’s tentacles are the ideal. But if that’s the case, then who could possibly surpass them?

1. Kamen Rider OOO Shauta Combo (Kamen Rider OOO)

Shachi, Unagi, and Tako. These are the three keys to success, it would seem. When Eiji Hino becomes Kamen Rider OOO and uses these three blue core medals, he becomes the proud user of the hottest tentacles on Earth.

What can they do? Well, what CAN’T they do?! Eiji’s legs can transform into some hot tentacles and back at a moment’s notice! The ultimate convenience! They’re strong enough to match the punching strength of a monster even underwater, they can spin around, and they can even act as a drill during Eiji’s Rider Kick!

These are by far the most versatile tentacles we’ve seen so far. They’re strong, they’re stretchy, they’re stylish, and personally, I want to see just how much motor function they have. I think we can all agree that these are the hottest tentacles on TV.

But man, Oswald came so close.